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Nothing in my closet fit the way it used to
I pulled two outfits off the hangers, tried them both, and neither one worked. Then I did the thing you should never do on a morning like that one. I stepped on the scale. The number looking back at me was not a happy surprise.
I stood there in my closet feeling like a stranger in my own body. If you have had that morning, you know it is not really about the jeans. It is about the slow realization that you have not felt like yourself in a while, and you are not sure when that happened.
That morning I had two choices in front of me.
- Keep spiraling in the frustration.
- Do one thing to feel better.
I went with the second one. I laced up my sneakers, strapped on my weighted vest for a little extra push, and headed out for the 20-30 minute walk I had been promising myself I would take tomorrow for about six weeks straight.
I put in my earbuds and listened to a podcast episode that hit me right where I needed it. Sometimes all it takes is the right message at the right time to shake you loose from a rut you did not even realize you had settled into.
My Negative Trifecta
Looking back, I can see exactly why I felt so far from myself. Three things had stacked up on me at once.
- A hard season of loss.
- Foot surgery recovery that sidelined me for months.
- Menopause showing up in full force.
Any one of those will mess with your mindset. All three together made a recipe for feeling off in every single way. I think a lot of women in midlife are carrying their own version of that weight and just assuming they are the only ones.
Swapping it for a Positive Trifecta
On the walk home that morning I decided I was done waiting to feel better before I started doing better. I came up with three things simple enough that I could actually keep them.
1. Movement every day, even if it is just a walk. Some days that meant three miles. Some days it meant walking to the end of the road and back.
2. Healthier choices, not a crash diet. Small swaps that felt good rather than a plan I would abandon by Thursday.
3. Daily inspiration. A podcast, a chapter of a good book, or a conversation with someone who lifts me up.
Three things. That is it. I have watched myself abandon far more impressive plans than that one.
What actually changed over the next few months
Here is the honest update, since I believe you deserve more than the before picture.
The walks came first, and the weighted vest is genuinely what got me out the door in the beginning. Adding a little weight made a regular walk feel like it counted for something, which mattered on the mornings when motivation was thin. I still recommend it for that reason.
Over the summer I added a strength training program, and that is the piece that moved the needle for me. I am not selling it and I am not an affiliate for it. I am telling you about it because I promised myself this blog would be real life, and real life is that lifting heavy things a few times a week has given me back more of myself than any of the clothes in that closet ever did.
I sleep better. I stand up straighter. I catch glimpses of the woman I used to be, and lately she feels less like a memory and more like someone I am walking back toward.
None of it happened in a week. It happened the way most good things in midlife happen, which is slowly and unglamorously and mostly in the early morning when nobody is watching.
You deserve this too
I want to say something to you that took me an embarrassingly long time to say to myself. Taking care of your body in midlife is not vanity, and it is not selfish, and it is not something you get to after everyone else is handled.
We spend these years holding a lot. Grown children who still need us in new ways. Parents who need us in harder ways. Work, households, grief, change. Somewhere in all of that holding, we quietly decide we will get to ourselves later.
Later has a way of never arriving on its own. You have to put it on the calendar.
Start with three days
If you are reading this in that closet feeling, I made something for you.
3 Days to Feel Like Yourself Again is a free three day email challenge. One short email a day, one small thing to do, nothing to buy and nothing to overhaul. It is built for the woman who does not need a whole new life, just a way back to the one she recognizes.
free 3-day challenge
3 Days To Feel Like Yourself Again
Some days get away from you before you even notice. That isn’t a flaw in you, it’s what happens when you’re carrying more than an ordinary day accounts for. For three days, I’ll send you one small thing to focus on, no to-do list, no overhaul, just one small win a day. By day three, you might feel like yourself again, and some days, maybe even a little more than that.
When three days is not the problem
Some seasons are heavier than a three day nudge can carry. If you are in one of those, When a Season Ends is my free guide for the transitions that change you, and you can grab that one instead. There is no wrong door here.
And if what you need is help deciding what actually deserves your energy on a given day, that is exactly what I built What Counts Today for. It is the little system I use to pick the few things that matter and let the rest wait, which is how three simple habits survived a very complicated few months.
Your turn
Your version of the Negative Trifecta is probably not identical to mine. The way out is the same, though. One small step, then another one tomorrow.
So tell me. What is the one thing you could do today to nudge yourself toward your own Positive Trifecta? Hit reply on the challenge emails or leave it in the comments. I read every single one.
